ST Gets a First Look at Ford Government Plan for Ontario School Sex Education

Originally Published: July 12, 2018.

As promised, Ontario premier Doug Ford cancelled the new progressive sex education curriculum instituted by the previous Liberal government today.

“The previous government didn’t listen to the moms and dads when they brought in this legislation, and we are going to change that,” said the Premier at a press conference at Queen’s Park earlier today.

It was assumed that the Ford government would revert to the previous school curriculum which has not been updated since 1998, but ST has learned that they would prefer to go further than that.

Through a source close to the government, ST has been able to acquire a confidential memo that strongly indicates the conservatives want to remove sex education from school altogether and give parents not just input into the teaching of sexuality but full responsibility for it, as in “the good old days” as someone had written in the margin of the copy of the memo ST received.

This new/old Progressive Conservative approach to help youngsters understand the mysteries and responsibilities of sex, according to the memo, would operate on two distinct tracks, one for boys and one for girls.

The plan for teenage boys will be aimed at those aged 12 to 16. In this plan, the government would acquire copies of Playboy magazine from the 1970s and then send them to either the fathers or older brothers of the targeted male teens, with instructions to hide them in one of several recommended “household concealment areas.” The location “should be accessible, but in a way that provides the curious teen the illicit thrill of seeing something he “knows” he is not supposed to see.” A sock or underwear drawer in the male parent/elder brother’s room is listed as the ideal location, with placement near but not at the top of a stack of magazines as a strong secondary option. As a last resort, placement under a pillow with just a small triangle of the “girlie” magazine showing should suffice.

The memo goes on to say that “the inevitable surreptitious discovery of the magazine should immediately capture the young boy’s attention, and careful study of the pictorial images will provide young males a sufficient initial understanding of the female body. Reading the regular “Playboy Advisor” and “Playboy Forum” columns should also provide valuable information about what women really want.”

In addition to the “valuable exercise in self-learning” the memo believes this approach will provide, it will clearly help the inquisitive young reader to fully enjoy the “hot times” that a “hip, happening dude” can enjoy in the company of the fairer sex.

The equivalent plan for young girls will simply be a brief letter mothers are meant to read to their daughters if asked about sex, which will inform the budding females that while sex “might be painful, or at least really gross”, it’s something they’ll “have to learn to put up with if they don’t want to end up an ‘old maid.”